All that glisters isn’t gold

Let me tell you a little secret about paralegalling they don’t tell you: it sucks. If you thought mini-pupillages, volunteering and FRU are bad, you have no idea.

I’ve been here nearly a month, and all of the tasks so far have required, to be honest, not much intelligence. I’m fairly certain they could get a secretary to do everything I do and pay her half as much, and charge the client half as much as well.

I rejoiced at being included in a client meeting then realised I was there to take notes. My introduction? ‘This is XXX, she’s just typing today.’ My parting remarks from the client? ‘Thanks for typing, XXX’

The newest task is photocopying exhibits, and I mean pages upon pages. To add to the stress, the owner of the files loved using the stapler, think 3 pages stapled with 3 staples. My boss also seems to think it necessary to constantly ask where I am, when it will be finished. I don’t think she’s realised how many pages I’ve photocopied so far, nor how many boxes of paper, binders, dividers I have had to carry to the photocopier.

Yesterday I made a strategic decision. There is a photocopier very close to me, but should I use it? No. Because even better there is one right outside her office. And yes true she can close her door but the walls are made of glass so she can most certainly still hear it going all day long. To top it off, I decided to do everything with a little ‘gusto’: slam the drawer of paper, throw the boxes of binders on the floors. It became a sort of game. One I seem to have won. Ever since I relocated photocopiers, I get a lovely thank you, every time I drop off a complete binder on her desk. That’s 24 ‘thank you’s in one day. I’ll take that.

The other saving grace is that whereas they may be completely menial tasks, the case wouldn’t run without a paralegal.