Control Freak

They say the first step is admitting it. I spent the last couple of weeks feeling miserably lost; I want to know whether I have a pupillage in 2012, and everything and everyone seems to be moving too slow for me. I applied for a couple of things that in hingsight I don’t actually want to do.

But, I also signed up for a half-marathon (you’ve all heard about that in previous posts) and started Bikram yoga again. I had given it up last year after enduring 1.5 hours of poses in a 40C room and deciding there was no way in hell I would ever go back. But not only did I return to it a year on, I now go every day.

It has taught me, within a short period of time, amazing mental discipline. While you’re standing on the toes of one foot, holding the other in the air, and sweat drips straight into your eye, you learn not to flinch or rub your eye, rather, you stand there motionless.

It has also taught me that some days you take a step back; I took a huge step back at a recent interview. Shit happens as they say. We don’t move towards improvement every single day. But for that one step back, I am now taking five steps forward. And even if I don’t get a pupillage in 2012, I have a plan (colour coded, might I add). So bring it on, the world is my oyster.